Intermission - Holidays and Being There

So far, I've been focusing on things to remember for your first few dates. And while I feel that everything I've mentioned so far has been important, I want to take a break to talk about something important to remember late in the relationship.

You see, I have quite a few friends who have been in their relationships for a long time. some of them are married, others are engaged, and some just seem to be eternally "dating". But they've all been with their significant other for a long time, and so I get to observe the things that they do for each other (or don't do, as the case may be), and it really has me thinking about two key things I don't really see enough of.

First, remembering to do special things for holidays and anniversaries. Second, just being there for the person.

Let's start with holidays. Let's say it's Valentine's Day, shall we? I know it's just a hallmark holiday, and quite a few people have no interest in doing anything special for it. Your significant other may even tell you, flat out, that you don't need to do anything. Trust me, you should still do something. Not necessarily because it's V-Day, but because you are involved with another person, and it's ok to show that you care. If you're a guy, send her flowers, maybe get her a box of chocolates. If you're a girl, there's no harm in making dinner, or taking your guy to a movie. There's nothing fancy about this, folks, these are small things that just show the other person "Hey... I kind of adore you". And while you're at it, guys, do something nice for your mother. Personally, I send my mom flowers a few times a year, because you know what? She's my mom, and she deserves it. It's the little things that can make all the difference.

Now, when it comes to just being there.. I cannot understand why this is so hard for people. The entire "job description" as a boyfriend or girlfriend is pretty basic. "Be there". If you've been with someone for, oh, 6 months. And they call you, terribly upset, at 4 in the morning? Answer the phone. I don't care if they're drunk or sober, emotional or not. You've been with them this long, they expect you to be there when they need you, the least you could do is make the effort. I know that no one is going to be there 100% of the time, and so do they. But you still need to make the effort. If a girl I'm dating calls me at 3am, crying and wanting me to be there? Chances are pretty good I'll offer to go to her. Because that's what it means to be in a relationship. It means being there for the other person when they need you. Stop ignoring them, or passing it off as them being clingy. Sure, maybe they are a bit attached, but you're still with them, aren't you? So obviously it's not bothering you THAT much (or you're a douche who just wants the attention).

Start showing up. It's important.