It's been awhile, yet again, but alas, I was without inspiration, and run-on sentences. But lo, for I have been blessed with a slew of new people in my life, with complaints and troubles I had forgotten! And thus was inspiration born!
There's a saying, that "The heart wants what the heart wants". Now, far be it for me to argue with wise words passed down through the ages, especially when I (to a degree) agree with them. The heart does, in fact, want what it wants. And what it wants is to pump blood so that you can continue living. What it does not want, contrary to what some would have you believe, is for you to be in a relationship that leaves you depressed and miserable. I would wager that the heart does not want that at all. Unless your heart is an asshole.
Is your heart an asshole?
I don't think it is, but it might be. So, I have a coworker now, whom we shall call Myrtle. Myrtle's boyfriend is textbook dickhead. He tells her she's fat (she isn't), and that he is depressed because of her. He provided her the condition that to continue their relationship, she would need to start losing a minimum of 1 pound per day (which is HORRIBLY UNHEALTHY AND YOU SHOULD NEVER DO IT), and generally treats her as though she is worthless, and is kept around only for purposes of sex with something that isn't attached to his wrist. She has stated, accurately, that her family essentially disowned her for choosing to remain with a drug-addled douche that lives with his parents. She quit college to spend more time with him. She was rather unceremoniously thrown from her lodgings due to his involvement, and thus moved in with him (and his parents) until he decided she needed to leave for being fat, with no warning and nowhere else to go.
I do not think I am alone in stating two points in regards to this. First, that is a horrible relationship to be in. Second, she is a goddamn idiot. I'm no stranger to having people complain about their relationships to me, it's actually a very common occurrence and one that I invite on myself by asking "What's wrong?" when a friend is upset. Recently, I've taken a new approach of asking "Have you talked to them about how you feel?" rather than just providing comfort, because I really feel that communication is key in any kind of relationship. If the answer is no, I tell them to quit bitching to me about their problems and go fix it. In this case, my answer was a bit more blunt, in that I asked why the hell she was complaining to me as I did not in any way invite the conversation, and then when she was done I told her she was a goddamn idiot.
Her response was, and I quote... "No I'm not, he's just all that I want! Just him!"
This is the point in the story, and in any story like this, where I call bullshit. If that were true, you are an emotional masochist who enjoys being insulted, degraded, and treated like gutter trash. And if that were true, you wouldn't need to complain about how you wish things would change, because hey, you don't want them to change. You want to be treated like shit, and at that point, it's whatever floats your boat. But since you are unhappy with the state of things, feel the need to complain, and actively try to better them on occasion, you're not an emotional masochist. What you are, is a goddamn idiot.
See, the heart doesn't want that. And it's not that "Oh, love is blind!".. No. You see the faults, you know they exist, and you do care. This isn't something like "Oh, he leaves the toilet seat up" or "She leaves half-drank sodas in the fridge". These are not small faults. These are character traits, and rather glaring and defining ones. You do not love this person, in fact, you probably strongly dislike them. What you love is being in a relationship, no matter how shitty, instead of being alone. You say that it's what the heart wants, and really, it's not. It's what the scared, timid thing in your mind wants. That inner child that's afraid of being alone.
It is ok for you to be alone. It's ok to be single. It's ok to be an emotional masochist. But recognize what you are doing and why. If you are staying with someone who makes you unhappy and saying it's because that's what your heart wants, as if that's what it really is. Does your heart want to be in a situation that makes you miserable? Or are you just afraid of not being in a relationship? It's ok to be afraid, it really is. Some of these terrible relationships go on for years before they get that bad, and that's a long time to be with someone and give it all up. And I have no doubt that some of those relationships can be saved with a bit of communication and understanding. But if you've been with someone a few months, and they're a complete asshole, there's really nothing to be afraid of, and you need to let it go. It's better in the end, it really is.
The moral of the story here is, your heart doesn't have shit for brains, you're just a goddamn idiot.
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