Ladies. Let me be clear... This is not in any way something you do that is your fault. I mean, yeah, it's kind of your fault. But mostly it's the fault of society, and occasionally a flirtatious guy who's hard to read.
When we ask you out, it's not always a date. Likewise, gents, if she says yes she may not think it's a date.
Let me elaborate... So, I tend to be a bit flirty. I do things like compliment my female friends, tell them they look nice, etc. If we go out to eat I may pay for them, or buy them a drink. This doesn't mean, to me, that I'm trying to date them. It's just how I am. I do it for my guy friends, too, but people seem to not notice that part. It is apparently because I am "that guy", that when I ask female friends of mine if they'd like to get dinner, they assume I mean on a date. 90% of the time, I'm honestly just hungry and looking for someone to go to a restaurant with. Because of this, I've actually started being specific, something I think all people should do when asking another out. You know what I say to a girl when I want to take her on a date?
..."Hey, do you wanna go out on a date?". See what I did there? I actually used the word "date". I always do the first time I ask someone out now. Granted, it's not as "smooth" or "casual" as "Hey, do you want to go to dinner this weekend?", but I can tell you now it's cut down on misconceptions quite a bit. In all honesty, those were mostly my fault to begin with (for instance, asking a girl if she wants to go walk around a park comes off as a "romance" activity, even though I don't mean it that way. I just like walking around parks)
Now, on the other side, we have the moments where the person asked out doesn't realize it's a date. I have yet to be on the awkward end of THAT one, but I've seen it happen. And it's not as amusing as you'd think. It's a bit depressing, really. Say Stan goes and asks his friend Claire out to dinner. Stan happens to like Claire, so he's intending this to be a date.
"Hey Claire, do you want to go to dinner Friday? Say, around 7?" he might say. Claire, knowing this is her FRIEND STAN, agrees to a friendly outing. "Sure," she chirped, "How about that new sushi place on 5th?". Plans are made. Stan is walking on sunshine, having just asked the wonderful Claire out on a date. Claire goes about her day, thinking she just made plans to hang out with a friend and try a new restaurant.
Oh, Stan. Poor, poor Stan. Imagine how he's going to feel when he tries to do date things with Claire. Get your mind out of the gutter, I'm talking about things date conversation (we all know it's different from normal small talk), or making the mistake of trying for the good night kiss. Oh, poor Stan. Best case scenario, fantasy level best case, she realizes her undying love for Stan and they live happily ever after (this is not the scenario that ever happens in reality). Worst case scenario, things are so awkward after this that they never get past it, the friendship dies, and they never speak again. I believe on average it's somewhere between those, where later they laugh when it's brought up, but for the sake of friendship both parties pretend it never happened.
The point is, make sure that what YOU think is a date is actually a date.
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