Oh hello again. It's been a little while, hasn't it? Sorry about that, I hit a bit of a stumbling block and ran out of ideas to type about. No worries, however, after speaking to one of my women friends I have a few more. Let's get started shall we?
I know that you love that movie with Ryan Gosling. I mean, he is gorgeous, I can see why you love it. The Notebook, or what have you? The problem is that so many people think that's how real life plays out, and it simply isn't.
Let's go ahead and review a typical series of events from a RomCom, shall we?
Boy sees girl. Boy falls in love with girl. Boy pursues girl, and is comically rejected. Boy falls back on perserverance, and does something borderline stalkerish to impress girl. Girl is somewhat smitten, but still unsure. Boy makes grand display of affection, potentially embarassing self and girl, and again borderline stalkerish. Girl falls for boy, love commences and lasts forever.
Is that about how it goes? Something along those lines? Maybe?
Let's go ahead and take that series of events and look at it through a more realistic viewpoint.
Boy sees girl is bound to happen at some point. The falling in love is a bit soon, it's probably more appropriate to say "Boy is attracted to girl" at this point.
Boy pursues girl, and is comically rejected.. Ok, look. I've been rejected before. There is not a damn thing about it that is comical for the recieving party. It hurts, that's all there is to it. And if, like in the movies, the girl is actually secretly interested in you? That's WORSE. Because then not only is she rejecting you, potentially in front of many of your peers, but she's doing it for no good reason. And that's just cruel.
Now, we can talk about the fun one, which is perseverance. Look, I understand that sometimes girls play hard to get. It happens, and personally I find it to be a bit of a bitch move. It's an attempt to make you REALLY want something that you already fucking want. It's like, look, Sue, I want to take you to dinner. If I didn't, I wouldn't have asked. Stop trying to string me along. Don't keep pestering her, just stop asking. Period. I know, you really like her. I also know that if she really likes you, she needs to say yes. Don't make puppy dog eyes and ask her out every day, act like you have some dignity. And certainly don't do anything that would classify you as a stalker. I'll put a list at the end of the post, for those of you who can't differentiate "normal" from "creepy".
If you're asking someone out on a first date, do not go for a grand display of affection. You're setting the bar so high that you simply will not be able to keep going at that level. Grand displays of affection are for things like anniversaries and proposals. She isn't going to love you, she's going to love the attention, and that is not healthy.
I realize this is written as a "To the gents, about the ladies", but really it works for any asking party to any asked party. And if you ARE the asked party, don't go with the bitch moves. They're hurtful, cruel, and... well.. they kind of make you come off as a bitch.
Remember, your life is not a movie. You have to get famous before that happens... And even then, Hollywood will probably screw it all up.
Ok, here's that list I promised
Ways to Not Ask a Girl Out:
1- Filling her locker/desk/car with love notes.
2- Standing outside her window, holding up a boombox. This isn't Say Anything. You aren't John Cusack. And if you ARE John Cusack, I loved you in High Fidelity.
3- Anything that involves entering her house/apartment/cardboard box without her there and knowing you are entering. Breaking and entering isn't romantic, it's a crime.
4- Pretend to be someone else online to get to know her. Really. People apparently do this.
5- Make art of her over and over. This includes paintings, drawings, sculpture, and poetry. If you like her enough to immortalize her in art, just ask her out. If she says no, let it go, by dragging it out you're only hurting yourself.
6- Let's just say anything that would get you arrested.
7- Using her hair and/or other items to create a shrine.
8- Stalking the guy she does like/is dating.
9- If you really don't know, ask a female friend. I'm sure they will gladly tell you when you're being a creeper.
Now, we can talk about the fun one, which is perseverance. Look, I understand that sometimes girls play hard to get. It happens, and personally I find it to be a bit of a bitch move. It's an attempt to make you REALLY want something that you already fucking want. It's like, look, Sue, I want to take you to dinner. If I didn't, I wouldn't have asked. Stop trying to string me along. Don't keep pestering her, just stop asking. Period. I know, you really like her. I also know that if she really likes you, she needs to say yes. Don't make puppy dog eyes and ask her out every day, act like you have some dignity. And certainly don't do anything that would classify you as a stalker. I'll put a list at the end of the post, for those of you who can't differentiate "normal" from "creepy".
If you're asking someone out on a first date, do not go for a grand display of affection. You're setting the bar so high that you simply will not be able to keep going at that level. Grand displays of affection are for things like anniversaries and proposals. She isn't going to love you, she's going to love the attention, and that is not healthy.
I realize this is written as a "To the gents, about the ladies", but really it works for any asking party to any asked party. And if you ARE the asked party, don't go with the bitch moves. They're hurtful, cruel, and... well.. they kind of make you come off as a bitch.
Remember, your life is not a movie. You have to get famous before that happens... And even then, Hollywood will probably screw it all up.
Ok, here's that list I promised
Ways to Not Ask a Girl Out:
1- Filling her locker/desk/car with love notes.
2- Standing outside her window, holding up a boombox. This isn't Say Anything. You aren't John Cusack. And if you ARE John Cusack, I loved you in High Fidelity.
3- Anything that involves entering her house/apartment/cardboard box without her there and knowing you are entering. Breaking and entering isn't romantic, it's a crime.
4- Pretend to be someone else online to get to know her. Really. People apparently do this.
5- Make art of her over and over. This includes paintings, drawings, sculpture, and poetry. If you like her enough to immortalize her in art, just ask her out. If she says no, let it go, by dragging it out you're only hurting yourself.
6- Let's just say anything that would get you arrested.
7- Using her hair and/or other items to create a shrine.
8- Stalking the guy she does like/is dating.
9- If you really don't know, ask a female friend. I'm sure they will gladly tell you when you're being a creeper.
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